01-08-2007 | 15:01 | (4)
Being an extravert is a strenuous job. It is even worse when you find yourself in a faraway foreign place. You might be well-travelled for all you like, but that won't make up for the lack of familiar faces. But hey, you think, there's people everywhere, right? if there's people, there must be listeners as well, although it does seem like those are gradually becoming extinct. So you have a look at the possible choices, find an unexpecting victim and prepare to charge. Then suddenly, to your absolute and utter surprise it occurs that the said victim works on a different frequency, bringing your attempts to vocalise your innermost thoughts to a prompt and mindnumbing end.
Having had one too many of these experiences, in my endless faith in people (what do you mean 'naive'?), I turn to different media of spreading the Word. Talking to myself is out of the question, what with all the looks I would receive from passers-by and the simple fact that it is a sheer sign of insanity and loneliness. And at that point valiantly comes to the rescue my blog. One, that I have neglected so badly for years, but also one that always takes me back with open arms.
And here I am. Wanted to say that I am happy. Just happy. Seems like the rough time of indecisiveness has finally come to an end and everything is finding its rightful place. Several occurrences have brought back the faith in this 'oh so savage' country and made me feel so much more at home. All's good and all's getting better. Vive la vie!
Listening: Battles 'Mirrored'
Reading: Terry Pratchett 'Going Postal'
Thinking: too much and too often.
Smiling: broadly.
P.S. Troche sie zagubilam w kwestii wersji jezykowej i serio, ale to naprawde serio, nie mam pojecia jak sie uzewnetrzniac. Opcja poliglota, zawszespoko.
01-08-2007 | 15:44 | (6)
Tymek is writing a novel. How dare he write a novel if it was me who was supposed to be doing it? Well, he does because he just got around to it. Ideas and plans might be one part of a creative process, but it is actually putting the plan into motion that gets you anywhere. I've read a chapter of his novel. It's good. Slightly on the experimental modern side of things, but it is definitely good. I always knew he could do it. He has Potential.
So one day you're the closest you can get to a person, a soulmate, a perfect half of the apple, the older sister, and the next thing is they leave the town and everything is lost. You do promise to stay in touch, swear that nothing is going to change, but it's gone nonetheless. Both of you go one about your own business, leading two separate lives and perhaps occassionally reminiscing the 'good old days'. And then one day, out of sheer coincidence, the two of you start talking again. Out of the clear blue sky englightment descends. With it arrives the sense of longing, for the things that took place and for those that didn't, fot all the years you will probably never get a chance to make up for. At the same time, it just becomes clear and simple, as if it was there in front of you all that time and just somehow you didn't manage to notice it.
Good to have you back. You might still be far away, even farther than before, but it sure feels you are closer than ever. Thank you.
02-08-2007 | 23:22 | (1)
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
I can choose what it shall be.
Yesterday is dead,
Tomorrow hasn't arrived yet.
I have but one day, and I am going to be happy in it.
Groucho Marx
08-08-2007 | 15:01 | (5)
There is no running away from it. Once you start writing, you just cannot stop. It's either the pressing need to express yourself, even in the most mundane matters, or the likes of Tymek checking up on your progress and letting you know that He's Watching. Well, fair play to you, boy.
I'm suspiciously happy for the last couple of days. I wasn't happy when going through the Hangover of Doom on Monday, but apart from that little interval I'm Little Miss Sunshine. And why shouldn't I be? Unusually for this geographic location the sun is shining, I'm lying down on the greenest grass, sipping strawberry soda and being soother by Sir Samuel's angelic voice. Ok, so the grass might be a bit wet and my lunch break might be coming to an end, but who cares? Honestly. I find myself very easy going about everything. All's working out perfectly and even if something isn't the rest is making up for it. And in the end, I find out that everything's turning out the way it is supposed to be anyway. I got every August weekend planned out thoroughly. People visiting, concerts to go to and a few other ideas still in my head (that's where they should probably remain, mind you).
Hah, and this isn't that bad an attempt at automatic writing, either. Whatever you do, just don't stop to think. Vaguely familiar.
Cause on our deathbeds we won't regret the things we did, but the ones we didn't do.
Salut!
15-08-2007 | 14:33 | (5)
Weekends like this one should happen more often. You leave the house with an intention to see a mate playing and never expect anything special to happen. Then to your utter and utmost surprise the outing stretches itself till Sunday filled with many a fun occurrences and stories.
First off, your friend introduces you to a group of wonderful people who make you feel absolutely in your element. It's a great feeling to know that someone apapreciates you exactly for who you are, no pretending needed.
Then there is what I call the Next Day Syndrome. After a wild night you just want to curl up in some dark corner and die. But oh how miraculously the situation changes once someone pours a beverage drink down your throat. I find it really soothing to just linger in that half-state, not having to worry about mundane things like looking decent or, God forbid, running errands. Well, there still is the issue of refilling your pint.
Another thing worth mentioning is the plethora of running jokes that such a weekend generates. Afterwards, you can not only reminisce but also annoy others using the insider jokes and making them realise the fun the missed out on.
Having said that, I'm waiting for the next time. Big kisses for those who contributed to the happening.
Now where is my handy shandy?
Listening: Deerhoof 'Friend Opportunity'
Reading: Jasper Fforde 'The Big Over Easy'
Loving: life (and mammi Lora).
